Two days after our VCT, we had a weeklong holiday program. Rather than describing the logistics and practicalities of the program, which were similar to the holiday programs we held at the end of September, I want to share about a special group of girls that attended.
A few of the girls during one of their Skillz lessons.
Some of the girls celebrating a goal.
To begin, our holiday program was by invitation only. We do this to ensure that participants have not previously gone through the Skillz program and to maintain at least some semblance of order. Despite not being invited, a group of about ten girls from our Skillz Street league walked three miles to get to the camp and arrived promptly at 8am. Lindsay and I were in awe. We didn’t know how they could even know about the camp. Apparently, they had learned about it from their Skillz coach, Tweeny, who had told them that she would be working at it. They insisted that they be allowed to partake in the camp even though they had already been through Skillz. We couldn’t say no to them, after all, they had just trekked all the way there. Who were we to deny them something they were really excited about? Besides, we had a rather lopsided ratio of boys to girls and they would help to maintain more of a balance.
Ipeleng (in hat) - a true rockstar
Like the holiday programs we had at the end of September, each day combined the Skillz curriculum with small-sided soccer games. In the Skillz curriculum and soccer games, these girls were all-stars. For some of them, this was their third time participating in the program and they knew it better than any other kids I’ve seen. When participating in activities, they would wait to see if any new kids wanted to answer first and then they would raise their hands and give perfect responses. They were considerate, but eager and their knowledge made me proud. After having been here for a few months, I’ve seen my fair share of rather poor interventions and sometimes I worry that our program is not effective. But these girls instantly restored my faith. They were like a breath of fresh air. Even if the majority of our kids did not retain the key messages, our program was still worth it simply because of graduates like them. To see them spread their knowledge was absolutely beautiful.
At one point, they shared that they had phone numbers of the male Skillz coaches. I jokingly asked them if the coaches were their boyfriends and warned about sugar daddies (older men who court young girls and provide them with gifts). Sugar daddies are one of the risks we discuss in Skillz that can lead to the spread of HIV. They are actually quite common in South Africa and a huge risk for young girls. The girls immediately started shouting at me about the risks associated with sugar daddies and how they would never even consider them. They explained that the coaches were their friends. Their quick defense made me smile. I had never been so happy to be verbally attacked by a bunch of 12 year old girls.
One of our girls, showing the boys how it's done.
During the last Skillz lesson, participants are given a chance to share their own “coach’s stories”. A girl from one of the groups gathered the confidence to share how she had been raped and contracted HIV from the event. Most of our girls were in her group and they were in tears. From afar, I had no idea what was happening and why everyone was upset. Only soon after did I learn what had occurred when one of her Skillz coaches approached me. The girl immediately entered the post-counseling tent of our testing partner and spoke with a counselor for awhile. Later, her coach sat and comforted her away from the rest of the group. During this time, the girl asked if she could speak to me. I was really surprised, as I had not spoken to her once during the whole week. I felt unprepared for the situation and unsure of what to say, but was happy to provide any sort of assurance she needed. She was timid and said little, but I could tell that my presence as someone who truly cared definitely made a difference. I found that listening and giving a hug is sometimes the best thing you can do. Interacting with this girl was one of the most real confrontations I have faced regarding HIV. Although I’ve read numerous stories of the realities of HIV in Africa, meeting someone who has undergone a horrible experience and become infected with HIV in the process, was more powerful and unnerving than anything I could ever read. There was no way to deny the harsh reality of HIV when suddenly faced with it head-on.
On the last day of the holiday program, I organized for one of our testing partners to be present and offer testing to any interested participants. An important part of HIV testing in South Africa is that an individual must be at least 14 years old to be tested at a mobile clinic. However, all ages are able to receive pre-counseling to better understand the testing process. Our girls were among the first participants to receive pre-counseling. They listened to new information and quickly impressed the testing organization with their Skillz knowledge regarding HIV. I was, again, quite proud. The only problem was that the girls, in their excitement and curiosity surround testing, attempted to lie about their ages in order to test. It was only after seeing that some of them were on the list to be tested that I realized what was happening. I immediately gave the testing partner our roster, with the ages of all participants (provided by parents) and then told the girls that they were too young to test. They were diasappointed and a little mad at me, but I explained that they could still be tested for HIV at any local clinic as long as they brought a parent with them. Their disappointment at being unable to test reinforced my admiration for them. Although I would love for all participants to be like them, I am realizing that having these occasional Skillz rockstars are the blessings that I must use to sustain me through the more frustrating times.
Sharp - a happy participant gives the "sharp" signal. I think sharp is the first thing babies learn. It seems to universally mean that everything is okay and when I can't understand someone speaking in Setswana, I just say sharp and give a thumbs-up. It somehow seems to always work. Sharp!
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